Oven-forged wands of dough, golden fried and wickedly seasoned. Served with your choice of fiery marinara or spicy ranch — because every dip is a decision.
★ Featured
Bite-Sized Betrayals
Fried ravioli pockets stuffed with cheese and treachery. Comes with a warning label and your choice of two sauces: spite or spicier spite.
Evil Mozzarella Sticks
Golden fried mozzarella sticks served with wickedly spicy ranch.
Chaos Calamari
Tender calamari rings tossed in a whirlwind of spices, served with a side of anarchy sauce.
Sinful Spinach Artichoke Dip
Creamy spinach and artichoke dip served with tortilla chips for dipping.
Main Course
Rebel Ravioli
Specially crafted ravioli with a kick of rebellion, served with a side of defiance sauce.
Black Magic Burger
Summoned from the bowels of our darkest kitchen ritual with a 1/3 pound patty engraved with a glowing occult symbol to ensnare the daemons on one side and oozing molten cheese and dark intentions on the other.
Crowned with cursed pickles and paired with a pile of sinister crinkle-cut fries arranged by hand and hexes.
★ Featured
Trashy Tater Tots
Crunchy tater tots served with a dipping sauce made from dumpster finds.
Redneck Nachos
A mountain of tortilla chips topped with chili, cheese, and pickled jalapeños.
Hooch Hand Eater
Named after the legendary duo, Turner & Hooch, this dish is a hearty combination of barbecue ribs, hush puppies, and a side of collard greens, served in a dog bowl for that extra bite of rebellion. Watch out for Hooch's bite, it's sure to leave you howling for more!
Boundary Issues Lasagna
Built with more layers than your ex's coping mechanisms. Served hot, then cold, then hot again, then thrown across the room and blamed on you.
A portion as generous as the feelings you were told were too much. Comes with breadsticks and an extra fork for your therapist, plus enough sauce to help you keep things civil when you're legally required to interact with your ex or explain, for the 37th time, why you left. Leftovers, when reheated, are guaranteed not to revive the relationship. They just restore your sense of closure and maybe give you a brief flicker of euphoria or a hint of peace.
Pizzas
Prankster's Pizza
A mischievous medley of toppings on a crispy crust, guaranteed to make you laugh like a villain and dance like a jester.
Fiery Inferno Pizza
A pizza that's as hot as the depths of hell, topped with jalapenos, spicy sausage, and ghost pepper cheese, guaranteed to set your taste buds on fire!
Cheese Lover's Delight
An avalanche of cheese, including mozzarella, cheddar, parmesan, and gouda, enough to make you feel like you're floating on a cheesy cloud!
Veggie Vengeance Pizza
A garden-fresh pizza that's so packed with veggies, it'll make even the most hardcore carnivores turn green with envy!
Desserts
Choco-Chaos Cake
A decadent dessert that's a perfect blend of chocolate and chaos, topped with a sprinkle of mischief.
Wickedly Warm Brownie Sundae
A cursed slab of dark chocolate sin, perfect after a day of living in sin.
Served warm beneath a scoop of vanilla ice cream as pure as the puppy memes you spent the day looking at, then drowned in hot fudge as hot as those racy Instagram pics you accidentally liked.
You didn’t choose this sundae, it summoned you.
★ Featured
Insane Ice Cream Sandwich
Two cookies sandwiched with a scoop of ice cream and rolled in assorted toppings.
Kids Menu
Red-Headed Stepchildren's Special
A dish as fiery as a red-headed stepchild! Spaghetti with devilishly hot sauce.
Gaslight Grilled Cheese (Divorce Edition)
It comes on Texas toast, cooked to a perfect golden brown with oozing melted cheese. If it’s not, that’s how you told us and the manager you like it now. Right?
Only available on alternating weekends, and staff refuses to cut the crusts because "you never said you wanted that." Comes with a side of confusion, a juice box, and a waiver our lawyer made you sign. Pairs well with emotional resilience and Tuesday hand-offs in a Walgreens parking lot.
